Settlement Ultimatum Pt 5. - "I can't help you"

B: ......

Pa-do-son?

A: ...It's translated as 'wavy hands', or 'hands of wave'.

B: For what? mentally disturbed people? Really?

A: Considering the cultural nature,

I do feel extremely cautious about revealing what kind of individuals they could be comprised of.

B: Oh-I-see.

A: ........

...You know, I've been struggling to think

Just WHY certain things exist in the world, and that's that. IT'S THE REALITY. Get over it. Just like how my stepdad or mom would tell me at a moment's notice.

..Now they've loosened down on that attitude a bit - even though I'm still more than a bit taken aback on how they plan to make this very current property here in Florida as like their lifetime asset. While putting me right in the position to be stuck here for good.

B: Don't say that too often or thing could really work as your own omen -

A: I know. I'm used to it, not surprised anymore - at least I got WiFi connection.

B: ...

.....The Boy......

He was...... just......

I don't know. EXTREMELY UPSET? Was that the word?

A: Against his parents, right.

Yeah, that can happen in that setting I bet.

...Would you act or say the exact same things as he said if you were in his shoes?

B: .....

Probably.

A: Right?

A & B: .... .......

A: You know, ever since I became an adult

..As long as I just keep myself clothed/closeted, and act nice & "Not very noticeable" -

I thought, even though I still hear indirect things outside, at least the day rolls on & I'm not even more sabotaged than where I am.

B: That sounds like a loser's mindset, though.

A: Exactly.

..I don't know since when, but it's like this gigantic programming machine looming over my head that dictates how I should be behaving and what to do.

It's almost as if I'm ready to become a mouse if I needed to save myself;

it's certainly not a good feeling, but I still can't help it.

B: At that age? Nonsense.

A: ...Right. That's why people like me 'explode' at times, just like what the boy did while mentioning how he got bullied himself or about his parents.

B: That's too difficult.

A: I know.

...Well, certainly I don't have the superpowers to fly over to rescue him or whatever -

Only money dictates, it seems to me. ..As long as that's not too shortsighted of a thing to say.

B: Oh, stop.

A: .....

I'm depressed.

..I might be stimulated genitally, from literal point of view - 

.....but it's my mind that's been in that mood too long, I can't help it.

B: You mean -

A: I'm just too depressed to cater to somebody else's appetite. Yeah.

B: ....And that's why you wanted to renounce as a Buddhist all along?

A: .....

I guess, if you could put it that way.

..Again, cultural reasoning.

.....

" There was a little girl who lived inside a large house.

She lived alone all her life, and she didn't take it serious that there was no one whom she could invite to her house,

nor those she could call friends.

By one chance on a fateful day,

she heard a very terrible news - of what was really going on with her kind,

But she didn't flinch,

because she knew the answer all along.

And she went her days, weeks, months and years as usual.

And nothing changed."

B: ....What a flat-out dejavu.

I think my brain cells died a bit just listening to that story.

..Like, what are you know, a child psychologist for adult children?

A: If you ask me.

....Isn't that considered rather a necessity nowadays, though. Like sex therapists. ..Besides mental health counselors or just general therapists on those apps of course.

B: Yeah, I bet you ARE depressed.

A: Nothing happens here......

B: But it's SAFE. Or Safe-r. ...Than someplace crazy like Tijuana.

(Nice being a YouTuber these days in one's 30's, ain't it so.)

I bet next topic's going to be Loneliness Epidemic.

..As long as you got that dude's incident off your mind for good.

A: ..Yeah, working on it.

..I feel strange to have such a casual reaction about it myself, so much so there's no given 'moral line' from the beginning -

.....But as long as I'm not there to make the same mistake again like I did before, I should be fine.

B: ..Besides being 'terminated', that is.

A: Don't even say the word.

..But that was reality, so I guess by 30% chance I might have to prepare to go on another TEFAP reliance.

B: ...Let's hope that that stays a probability.

(Life = Fatigue.

❌ Orgasm)