Stigma, Masculinization and Murakami Haruki

... 

It was just yesterday that I looked up 988 number online to find yet another 'emergency' chatbox that was likely & readily available. ..Of which services/platform was not exactly too imaginable in my opinion even in the times I was born around the 90's or so. Of which at the inception/the very beginning of the conversation I had to turn off after explaining/complaining about the summation of my moral & social disposition altogether reason being I had to go for a grocery run (+ cleaning my house afterwards. Now I cannot help but have to force myself to do it every once a week to be exact).

...

But recently it is true that I've been developing sort of this deviation of an OCD-like symptom, where I find myself *physically trying to remind myself that is to the excessive extent not to "lose" my Aliexpress-bought adult Myobrace almost every morning I wake up with the $70 brace on. Trouble was that when I called in the actual Myobrace company the person told me directly when I asked that it is not a legit thing to do to get the brace while NOT having signed up for their $1000 worth services but get it from other source. ...But would they have any idea on what sort of PAIN symptoms I've have been going through near yearlong basis, that was the million-dollar question in my opinion. ...... That is saying that I intentionally forego questioning the legitimacy of my activity due to such personal circumstances whatnot. .....


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<Japanese trans men interview. Source: THE VOICELESS #4 @ Asian Boss.>

But these days especially working at where they require neutral attire (*all-black suit) for everyone non-withstanding gender whatnot + regarding the sort of rowdy crew of people I work with of which security personnels & police are literally dispatched around the whole cruising gate for: I wonder if my personal take/unsaid concern on this whole LGBTQ+ movement in 2024 & Sexuality alone (+ Me "coming out" as an Asexual which wasn't exactly met with any happy celebration) matters at all. ...Which sounds much more of an internal monologue of an social isolate than anywhere near political agenda so far.

......

I did grew up with Animes. I don't recall exactly but as someone of 1st-ish generation Korean origin one could easily find Korean Anime fans posting blog materials about their childhood fascination; I just don't recall exactly the titles of them all, just bits and pieces of 'imageries'. And even THAT I wasn't aware until recently were under the influence of commerce, AKA the Japanese Bubble Economy Era.

<Ref's & Korean Titles: 꾸러기 수비대 (Juuni Senshi Bakuretsu Eto Ranger) & 피구왕 통키(Honō no Tōkyūji: Dodge Danpei )>

....I hate to think that different level of 'Japanization' happened as well, just a generational difference from where my own ancestors were subjected to much harsher rules back then (The Colonization Era)

....

But guess I'll end it there for now.

It's not like I've done nothing as a Korean. I do know more than a handful of venues *in my native language that features traditional knowledge/culture of the nation (Pansori, minsok to name a few); I just don't want that conflict w/ the types of stuffs that natives got here in the US. Whether it be country singers or... You get what I mean.

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Regards.

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