"I'm too used to being the 찌질이 in the room"

 A: .......

Of course, I don't doubt, if that really happened for the course OVER THE LIFETIME and for FACTUALLY - 

I guess thing could have almost like a brainwashing effect or something like that, as nasty as it may sound.

B: Like, my computer just begun developing slow internet issues the moment after I've installed new software - 

...But with machines in general, whether it be cars, or kitchen appliances - you just have to use common sense esp. when you do not know anything I think. By that I'm not trying to sound domineering b/c that's how things really work in real life as far as I see it. Especially here in Space Coast, Florida.

..Like, some people might just think being skinny & being able to run good is just part of their skillsets, while it would have been nothing but privilege to my past self. And that's why I gotta BUY & DEPEND on so many tools just to replicate somewhere being intermediate on that spectrum, so much so I wanna pursue the thing so bad and it's been nothing but.

A: If that's the state of being a minority, that is.

B: I don't like to be Americanized this certain way, ..like I'd rather act as if I was 3rd-generation ABC at this moment -

But realistically I think it's also true that I've revealed too much about myself, so much as exposing myself to things that I wouldn't wanna have. Both from my home country to over here.

..In a way, it's like saying nothing else matters to me now 'cause life has been nothing but crap.

A: ..If you say so.

B: The internet technicians - or whoever's messing it up (if there is really alive being doing so) might laugh all they want with their own smart American brains for having so much technical aptitude,

Like, I got other human issues I never was able to discuss further, it's like I have to play my own unpaid investigator just to get down to the root of what really went wrong.

A: .......

Okay.

B: Like FTM's mortality rate, just to bring up as an example again. ..For one I do not think they'd come with the exact same aptitude for those 'mechanical/technical' things I run into almost on daily basis compared to those who are just naturally born males.

..And this is just me & my own little opinion as a pretty much self-proclaimed minority or whatever, okay. 'Cause I know better myself on WHAT COULD GO WRONG if I ever went further from mentioning my own gender - female - to emerging adult virgins - to even get to mentioning the V*gina part - unless I was literally a sex/medical professor.

A: Yeah I get you.

B: By that I'm not just trying to sound as if I'm the b*tching/angry/maniacal version of Cheryl Strayed (*Wild, 2014) or anything, 'cause THING ARE REALLY THAT WAY for me from my own perspective. Which seems almost as if I'm trying to scream at you by now.

A: .....

I mean,

if you're an adult, 

And you don't consider yourself anywhere near responsible/respectable/trustable whatsoever,

..But just this female person with her own little female needs whatnot,

...I'm guessing that you don't really have to be that contemporary yourself (or sound like one) to get to the bottom of the issue. 'Cause what you brought up is already something that are not exactly taught neither in textbook course nor in classroom settings.

..Like, even among same human beings some people happen to be born with what's called intellectual disabilities - obviously including low IQ's - or gain trauma in the process to lose what they were innately born with - to people who are just not only unfairly but just outrageously lucky.

..'Cause I feel like I have that kind of thing happen all the time especially in this country, like for Mark Zuckerberg/Elon Musk or any other social media influencers' existence whatnot.

...Like this is also just my opinion but I think Gen Z these days would rather prefer have a fit & attractive idol explain the real life computer details/issues in easy words,

...and have everything prepared for them on the platter that way - THAN choosing to go through what the past generation had to go through. That is either financially/education-wise/domestically or any other wack that I can think of. Cuz I DO ACTUALLY HAPPEN TO SHARE THE EXACT SAME TRAIT, ...That is no matter how immature that sounds.

..Like, just think about it for a second. I have a girl in her 20's who've mastered bunch of softwares I don't even know the names of and earns a heck of a lot more streak than me living just few miles away from where I live - just b/c she's a native-born American white. Right. By that I'm not b*tching, I'm being real here. Which sounds wrong enough already but anyways. And then you find my 30-year-old self always needing to use some sort of children's/beginner-level course for virtually EVERYTHING just to navigate throughout the day.

You see my point?

B: Yeah.

A: ...'Cause when it comes down to such leniencies/failings of the younger population in general when one asks where that really stems from that it's the same thing over again drawing its own circle.

B: ...Just blame the seniors?

A: A little bull, but yeah I do think that can be counted as this part of the major contributing causes.

...You know, including psychology stuffs.

Like, I also do wish that I'd have come out as this more patient/humble child, you know, the types who is willing to make decent amount of effort to use their good sense/reason no matter what the circumstance - Like if you don't know how to fix your own laptop, find a way to do so no matter how long it takes, you know, purely accomplishment-wise pov. AND THEN not only that don't just go boasting about what you were able to do, be willing to share & STILL be humbled by those better than you.

B: Sounds like too much of a personality for me.

A: Exactly. And reality wise I always fall to the opposite spectrum myself for reasons only I know. So.

......