People who live in No Man's Land

 .....But I feel vile, just thinking about it all. Thinking about how it all happened, and just how no one came to give a helping hand... No wonder I end up like the most selfish adult I have ever known. ...

There are said some kind of exotic people living on this planet - the ones who are more than wiling to befriend Mother Nature despite the risks of the wilderness and isolation from human civilization. (*One YouTube search out of teenage curiosity would pretty much provide the answer these days.) I've seen their faces on one of those tiny thumbnails - one I remember was a Russian lady who rather had a Chinese-y smile to her eyes; the other was yet another white grandpa who had a long, grayed beard yet all-knowing look on his face. ...What wonders it would do, living in total isolation that is out of voluntary will - in the best resort & setting ever within those lush forests - not like the sometimes deadening silence where concrete slabs block the privacy of your dear neighbors out of one's sight, sometimes to an suffocating extent.

.....

I'd rather prefer such silence. That is given my personal experience with trauma (or likewise). ...Ever since I was bullied, people seemed nothing like but a little evolved extension of apes while I happened to be just one of them. Girls were the prettier types whose bickering, vices and political siding would even that of their counterparts' physical violence - where I was rather more prone to fall to their tricks that would feign angelic quality that stemmed out of pure human and therefore earthly ambition, nothing more. ...Well, at least I'm not too disgusted by the fact that I have to shit too (out of everyone's sight, that is) nearly every day.

With boys however, one violent kick or punch then you were done. As a girl I could feel my internals coming into this 'upside down' turmoil within, of which in externalized form I was easily rendered the target of ridicule. Of which all sounds too grossly 'chunked' to give any better life's details whatnot; regardless I do remember how I felt and it felt solid like the the dirtiest & thickest mark a messy kid could make on a piece of crayon drawing.

.....